I've been a mess for the last 48 hours...a complete and utter stressball. And it was my day off for crying out loud! ugh.
Ok...long story short: Joe's been offered a promtion, but the position is in Marquette. Yeah, thats right, Marquette. The place we used to live.
The problem is I don't know if I want to live in Marquette. I kinda like it down here...I'm not in love with TC, but I am in love with being away from my hometown. And I hate to say it, but I also like being away from my family. I love them and miss them very much, but it's hard to figure yourself out when you're surrounded by expectations and the drama my family creates.
More than that though, I'm afraid of being that girl that went to the hometown college, got her degree, and then worked at a job that a high school grad could do. I'm not that girl, since I would be pursuing my masters while we're up there, but still. At least down here no one knows I don't have that great of a job, and even if they do I get respect for "finally getting out" (of the UP).
Oh, and PS, tons of people up there probably assume I'm a nurse by now, which I'm not. I'm 150% ok with that - I don't want to be a nurse - but it's annoying to have to explain that. Plus, I'm still pretty pissed at myself for failing peds, even though I'd be miserable if I hadn't. I still consider my biggest failure, since I know I have the brains to pass that god forsaken class.
On the other hand, Joe would be making more money and I'm 98% sure I could my old job back, which I enjoyed. Actually, they have a supervisor position open - something I would have been considered for when I was there before. Also, cost of living is lower up there, so we'd have more money to put away for an expensive event (hmm, what might that be?). An internship would be a breeze to set up because I know so many people at the Marquette County Health Dept, and we could probably consider buying a house since Teri would help us with the title insurance and closing. And how sweet would it be to actually have friends in the same area code again? :)
It's a lot to think about, and the wheels are a-turning. Joe has a meeting early next week to find out some specifics of this promotion and to see if it will be worth our while. I'll tell you one thing though - after the bitch-o-gram I sent my managers this morning about how we shouldn't be using our trainees like we are no matter how short we are...I'll feel like a jerk quitting.
Thank goodness I have Christmas under control or I'd probably fall apart.
Deep breath. In with the good air, out with the bad...(my therapist taught me this awesome breathing exercise).
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2 comments:
Hmmm...decisions are tough. I'm glad you are considering all angles but I knew you would. I get the family drama stuff and job change but just because you come back to the U.P. doesn't make you a failure! Try to take one thing at a time and see how big of a carrot they offer Joe. Once that is known, your decision may not be too tough. Of course I would love to have you up here but your success means far more to me than location. While I know you will succeed regardless of your address, I want you to be happy before anything else. I'm sure Joe feels the same. Keep me posted!!!!
Mom, you really have to start signing your comments.
But I'm impressed you're reading and leaving comments! :)
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