Black Wednesday

Today is Valentine' Day....and I hate Valentine's Day. Which is a bummer because I'm pretty sure Joe doesn't hate Valentine's Day. So it's weird. Because I don't do Valentine's Day...but I'm not about to ruin it for him too? But then I get all excited and mushy (which is normal for me on every other day of the year - I'm a total sweetheart, you just don't know it)....and then I'm always horribly disappointed.

Not because Joe isn't wonderful don't get me wrong. I just get tooooo excited and I expect something a little more creative than the norm. Because on Valentine's Day, the norm just isn't going to do it for me. Which is why I hate it.

It's cyclical. I hate it because I never (used to) get anything out of it. And now that I do get something out of it I'm so bitter about it that I expect something extravagant (not materially, but creatively) and when I get something less I'm disappointed and start hating it again. I've been digging this hole for myself for years.

It doesn't help that I think the whole holiday is BS. We spend 364 days building up to a day that we spend doing things for the people we love when we should actually be doing those things all the time. Not just on Valentine's Day, but on the day after the Super Bowl or on Tuesday before bowling or 10 am Saturday when you're just getting out of bed. The whole thing frustrates me.

And every year its the same thing - get her flowers! cook him dinner! get her a card! put a note in his lunch! spend money on each other!

Look. I love flowers. I really do. And Joe even got them for me once (he thought I was mad at him, which I was, but not after I returned to my Canadian hotel room to a huge bouquet...smart boy...). And I certainly wouldn't think less of them on Valentine's Day. But hey, we're in love 365 days a year, not one. And I do cook him dinner. Nearly every night. We get each other cards for our "half-birthdays" (now thats a kickass holiday). I write cute little notes for his lunch on random weekdays. Get it?

There are a million rational reasons to think this day is BS.

But I'm a girl.

So I'm going to be all pissy all day long because it's Valentine's Day and it won't live up to my expectations.

But hey, at least some random day next week or next month will kick ass for me. Take that one Hallmark!