Fights and Bites (to eat)

So I didn't exactly finish my cookies last night - I got distracted (this happens easily - for instance I'm probably going to forget I have cookies in the oven right now). But I am almost done baking them tonight. I ended up with 38 Kiss Cookies...it probably would have been a full 3.5 dozen but I kinda ate a lot of the dough. It's ok though, because two of them are deformed. The will have to be sacrificed to the cookie gods (aka my stomach).


Here's the finished product of my baking:


The white ones are pecan sandies. For the first time EVER I actually followed my Grandma's recipe and they turned out really well. I usually use walnuts because I always forget to buy pecans and the recipe says to form into logs...i usually do balls. Also, I end up with for less cookies than the recipe says it will yield. But this year I was dead on. Grandma said 40 cookies and thats what I got.


I've come to the realization that I'm really more of a candy maker than a baker. Sure, my brownies are famous, and yeah, I make awesome birthday cakes for the kiddies....but i don't think I'm as good at baking as I am at candy. I always seem to either under or over cook baked items. Here's a sample of the candy I've been making:

Clockwise from the silver wrapped ones: Million Dollar Fudge, Butter Brickle, Million Dollar Fudge with Walnuts, Oreo Truffles, Snickers Fudge, and Cashew Brittle.


And yes, I wrapped every piece of that fudge myself.


As my time in the kitchen has increased lately, I've noticed that when the cat isn't trying to eat the dog, he seems to be picking fights with the refrigerator:

the staredown

the attack

Meanwhile, Molli does to her toy what I'm sure she'd like to do to the cat:

But still, we can't help but remember the peace that once was:

busy bumblebee

Just call me Betty Crocker.

So far today I've made:
6 dozen Oreo Truffles
3 dozen Pecan Sandies
1 pound of butter brickle

and in a little bit I'm going to go finish up my batch up Kiss Cookies (the dough has to be chilled).


All this is in addition to what I've already completed:
1 pound of Million Dollar Fudge
1 pound of Million Dollar Fudge with walnuts
2 pounds of "Snickers"
a batch of cashew brittle


I love to bake but it seems I only do it at Christmas time....which is probably a good thing. Otherwise I'd be a blimp.


Now I just have to finish wrapping all of the presents Joe doesn't have time to wrap. I'm actually kind of surprised he's letting me wrap these, as he really seems to love wrapping. Also, he's the neatest male wrapper I've ever met.

HayZeus seems to like wrapping too:

He and I exchanged gifts last night because it was the only time we'll really get together (alone) for the next week, minus the drive to the UP. We went out to dinner at Bowers Harbor Inn (www.bowersharborinn.com) and had a really romantic dinner in front of the fireplace. It was really fun to get all dressed up and splurge on a fancy dinner (Joe really did most of the splurging). We took some super cute pictures too:


Afterwards we came home and unwrapped presents, had some cocoa and curled up in bed. Basically, yesterday was our Christmas!


I'm excited for all of the festivities coming next week. I really like that we're basically celebrating for a whole week...kinda like Hanukkah :)


So I put my notice in at work on Wednesday - I'd been super nervous to call my boss and tell him because of our staffing problems (and let's face it, no one wants to lose ME as an employee, haha). He was really understanding and thanked me multiple times for giving him a full months notice. Now that I've got that worry off my mind I think I'm even getting excited to move back to the UP. We're hoping to have the chance to look for a place to live when we are up there, but as of right now Joe doesn't even have the time off we're supposed to be in Grayling for (grrr...don't get me started). So I guess we'll see. Either way, I have to interview at Biolife on the 2nd (as a formality) so if he doesn't get things worked out we'll have to take two cars up there...booooooooooooo.


On a downer, Molli isn't so hot...her breathing is frequently labored and her pain meds don't help that situation. The vet had to increase her dose because she couldn't even walk on her leg. Poor pup. I've decided that after the holidays she'll probably be ready for her big nap. Joe got me a shadow box and a kit to make an impression of her paw for Christmas so I can make one last reminder of her. For now though, she gets to go on all the car rides she wants, sleep on the bed, and can have her fill of the beggin bones she loves so much (but is only supposed to have 1-2 times a week).


In other news, the cat keeps trying to eat the dog. Still, they seem to coming to some sort of a peace agreement:

And I swear I didn't position them like that.


Well I must be off. I have photos to pick up from Walgreens and then I have to pick Joe up so I can hit the hay (5am shift tomorrow.)

Goodnight!

Stressball city

I've been a mess for the last 48 hours...a complete and utter stressball. And it was my day off for crying out loud! ugh.


Ok...long story short: Joe's been offered a promtion, but the position is in Marquette. Yeah, thats right, Marquette. The place we used to live.


The problem is I don't know if I want to live in Marquette. I kinda like it down here...I'm not in love with TC, but I am in love with being away from my hometown. And I hate to say it, but I also like being away from my family. I love them and miss them very much, but it's hard to figure yourself out when you're surrounded by expectations and the drama my family creates.


More than that though, I'm afraid of being that girl that went to the hometown college, got her degree, and then worked at a job that a high school grad could do. I'm not that girl, since I would be pursuing my masters while we're up there, but still. At least down here no one knows I don't have that great of a job, and even if they do I get respect for "finally getting out" (of the UP).


Oh, and PS, tons of people up there probably assume I'm a nurse by now, which I'm not. I'm 150% ok with that - I don't want to be a nurse - but it's annoying to have to explain that. Plus, I'm still pretty pissed at myself for failing peds, even though I'd be miserable if I hadn't. I still consider my biggest failure, since I know I have the brains to pass that god forsaken class.


On the other hand, Joe would be making more money and I'm 98% sure I could my old job back, which I enjoyed. Actually, they have a supervisor position open - something I would have been considered for when I was there before. Also, cost of living is lower up there, so we'd have more money to put away for an expensive event (hmm, what might that be?). An internship would be a breeze to set up because I know so many people at the Marquette County Health Dept, and we could probably consider buying a house since Teri would help us with the title insurance and closing. And how sweet would it be to actually have friends in the same area code again? :)


It's a lot to think about, and the wheels are a-turning. Joe has a meeting early next week to find out some specifics of this promotion and to see if it will be worth our while. I'll tell you one thing though - after the bitch-o-gram I sent my managers this morning about how we shouldn't be using our trainees like we are no matter how short we are...I'll feel like a jerk quitting.


Thank goodness I have Christmas under control or I'd probably fall apart.


Deep breath. In with the good air, out with the bad...(my therapist taught me this awesome breathing exercise).

Yeah yeah, get off it...I've been busy.

Actually, I'm not sure if I've been busy. But when you get up at 3am, your day seems absolutely packed...I think because I'm so tired.


Let's see...where to start...


AMAZING weekend with the ladies. We went to a Jimmy Buffet restaurant, the mall, a Mexican place, a kickin' house party, and we had a reallllly nice hotel room (because I rock at making plans). AND on top of all that....Chris asked T to marry him! And *I* was the first person on earth they told. Ahhhh I rule. Of course now I have to deal with the "when are you getting engaged" thing, which is really, really annoying. Because A) Not my call B) It's not a race and C) What's the rush? I don't need some shiny ring to know what I'm doing for the next 100 years, puh-lease. Not that I don't want one, but I don't need it. But seriously, I'm happy for those two.


OH OH OH and on the SAME day T got engaged, my sister found out she's pregnant. We just keep multiplying. On a downer note though, she says she's thinking about Elizabeth or Isabelle for the name (if it's a girl) which I'm super pissed because I've had those names reserved since like...1902. It's ok though, because she's going to have another boy. Just wait. (side note: I told her she couldn't use those names and she replied "whatever, you don't even want kids." NEWS to me...and Joe would throw a fit!).


I know I once gave Joe a hard time about his disdain for the cat, but I'm seriously considering giving him back to the Humane Society. Every single night this week he's woken me up and I've been unable to get back to sleep. So I'm like...UBER crabby. The kind of crabby where Joe asks me if I've had a nap. YIKES.


That being said, I have to go to bed. I was a busy bee today and made enchiladas, walnut fudge, and chocolate-caramel candies (aka snickers). Doesn't sound like much but my enchiladas are awesome and those snickers have 4 tedious layers. But they are sooooo worth it. Night.

Hmm, it's been a busy week. Let's start at the beginning.

We had an absolutely fabulous Thanksgiving in Madison at Joe's sister's. The ride down was a little tight with Joe's parents, his brother Tom, Molli and HayZeus (we dropped them in Gladstone with Mame), but it wasn't all that bad. Crystal is a phenomenal cook - she even spent three days making gravy. At first I thought she was nuts, but once I tasted it I decided it was worth it. I'm still dreaming about some of the other dishes she prepared, especially the curried lamb stew. It was nice to have a holiday that a little less chaotic than your traditional Kirkwood Thanksgiving, but now I'm even more excited to experience the craziness we call Christmas in the UP.


We got back from Madison on Sunday night, relaxed a bit and got the house ready for my brother, Joe, who arrived Monday night to stay for a while. He's looking for a job down here, so he's our house guest while he hunts. Hopefully he'll find something good and maybe even move down here, which will dramatically increase the amount I see Jake and Johnny. Now I just have to get the rest of my siblings to move here. :)


Other than Thanksgiving and Joe's arrival, things have been pretty calm. I've been working all this week but I have the weekend off. I'm going down to Lansing for a little reunion - my best friend Teresa is having a birthday, and a bunch of us girls are gathering to celebrate. I'm coming from TC, Alyssa is coming from Marquette, Lauren from Detroit, and Sara from Mt. Pleasant. I'm very excited and we're bound to have a great time.


For now I must run, as I have to be to work in an hour. Work work work. I'm very tempted to try an instigate some change at work, but also very hesitant. Something to contemplate.

This is how it works: random stuff

I have the next five days off and it's a darn good thing. If I had to get up at 3am one more time this week I'd have lost it. I'm still recovering from yesterday: I got off work at 10pm Sunday and had to be back by 5am Monday. For a twelve hour shift. I'm not even sure that's legal, but I'll never, ever do it again. Plus I had to be there at 4am today and was supposed to work at 4am tomorrow, but a coworker called me today and offered to take the shift off my hands. Twist.


HayZeus went to the vet today. He's just peachy...they took some blood, gave him a couple shots, and declared him a cat. Dr. Peck, whom I really like, also gave me some steroids for puppy. She's going to be totally buff in no time.


Just being in the vets office made me sad. Last time I was there was when we found out MD is on her way out...and now with her breathing getting so shallow and labored at night its becoming more real everyday. I can't even wrap her leg without crying anymore. So I'm super worried about being away from her this weekend. I know she's going to be fine with Missy, but I just wish I could be with her every minute. Someday, I'm going to be the Mom that calls the babysitter every half an hour to see how the kids are.



Lyrics from a new song I'm obsessed with:


this is how it works
you're young until you're not
you love until you don't
you try until you can't
you laugh until you cry
you cry until you laugh
and everyone must breathe until their dying breath
this is how it works
you peer inside yourself
you take the things you like and try to love the things you took
and then you take that love you made
and stick it into some--someone else's heart
pumping someone else's blood
and walking arm in arm you hope it don't get harmed
but even if it does you'll just do it all again
on the radio you'll hear novemeber rain
that solo's awful long
but it's a good refrain
On the Radio by Regina Spektor


I have decided I'm going to write a life list. Kinda of like Ellen's - things I want to accomplish in my lifetime, big or small. Everyone has such a list in their head somewhere...but I'm going to write mine down and see if I can't start checking things off. Here's my start:


Take piano lessons
Learn a foriegn language
Take a class in photography
Live in another state
Learn to knit
Work for the WHO - volunteer or otherwise
Obtain at least one Masters Degree
Backpack through Europe


For now, though, the only things I'm checking off my list are going to walgreens, making supper, and watching Good Eats.

roller coaster of life.

I had to work today (of course) which isn't a big deal...except when your shift starts at 5am. A 4am alarm shouldn't even be legal, let alone necessary. I had trouble sleeping last night, so it was a rough start. On the plus side of things I think I may have been sleeping during rounds, so I don't really remember the first couple hours of my shift. And after that my work day was great - floors were quiet and I had a great talk with one of my bosses. She's going to talk to the boss that makes the schedule and see if we can't get me back on my rotation. Turns out the root of the problem is essentially that I'm too good at my job. Paul says I'm too versitile and dependable to commit to a gravy shift (it's the first to go when we're short). I told him I felt like I was getting screwed, so now that we're both on the same page I should see some positive changes in my schedule. So that was a good chat.


Another definte up for my day was a chat I had with a different boss ("I have eight different bosses Bob. So when I screw up I hear about it eight times. Eight, Bob."). We had a situation a week or so ago involving improper patient ID procedure...on the spouse of an administrator. I tried to warn my co-workers about it by sending out a very non-specific memo on making sure we're all doing things by the book, but we still got nailed. Turns out the administrator went to the head of the lab to chat about it (as I anticipated) so each and every phlebotomist will have to sit down individually with the director of the lab and be talked to about patient ID - except for me. Because I was the only person that was recognized as performing proper procedure. Score on my part! :) (Side note: I recognized the administrator the instant I walked into the room. While I'd like to think I follow our procedures to the T, I know I'm not perfect. But you better believe I was perfect in front of her! Duh!)


It wasn't until I got home that I hit the real downers of the day. First of all, I'd left the oven on over night and Joe wasn't real impressed by that one (not that I blam2e him). Secondly, Mollidog was covered in her own...well lets call its drainage, because it's not 100% blood. I guess it would be classified as typical serosanginous (never did learn how to spell that...I personally preferred to chart "pinkish-red") drainage. She had to be bathed and then I had to figure out how to let her dry without getting her oooze all over everything...it was a mess. And I pretty much cried through the whole thing. I mean I try to stay positive about her health, but I think I'm just lying to myself. Last night she soaked through an ABD pad in about an hour...so today I've got her tripled up...but it's next to impossible to keep up with her oozing unless Im home 24/7. So after I got her all bandaged up I layed on the couch with her and fell asleep with tears running down my cheeks. I slept for two hours, which probably wasn't wise considering I'm already having trouble sleeping.


Needless to say I was in a pretty crappy mood after that, but Joe did what he does best and brightened my day up. We went out for supper and rented some movies, so now I'm ready to put on some sweats and hang out on the couch.


Lots of ups and downs today, but I suppose that's ok. I hate knowing that things are only going to get tougher with the pup but I can't change that so I might as well start dealing with it. I just wish she could just go in her sleep sometime, becuase even though I know it's for the best, I think I'm always going to feel guilty about putting her down when the time comes.


Sometimes I can't believe how attached I am to that dog.

Happy Tails

Mollidog is now an internet phenomena. She can be viewed at http://www.upaws.org/happytails.php?who=81 I wasn't kidding when I said I'm slightly over-obsessed with my pup.



In other news, MD and HayZeus are getting along better:
Ok, so maybe we tricked them into it. But they are still adorable. Every once in a while we catch them touching noses...but then HayZeus tries to catch MD's tail and the pup isn't too fond of that. They're both big fans of sleeping with us though, which we allow now that HayZeus has gotten over his anxoius meowing syndrome. (See, I told you all he needed was some love)


Today is my only day off until Thanksgiving (I had last weekend off, but that's it) and my boss called to ask if I would come into work. I wish there was a professional way to say "hey, go stick it," but there's just not. So I just told him no. But if he doesn't give me my 7/7 shift back soon I might set the building on fire...


Joe finally made some doctors appointments and will start using his insurance. I find this interesting since I started using mine 6 days after it kicked in. I think he's just been jealous of all the "thank you for choosing us" notes I've been getting from all of my providers. By the way, is that a new thing? So far my primary care, dentist, and eye doctor have sent hand written notes. I've never had that before...but I guess I've had all the same doctors since I was born.


I had my first appointment with my psychiatrist's office today. I saw the NP and she was great - much more enjoyable than my old shrink, who had the personality of a piece of lint. Originally it was just supposed to be an appointment to establish myself as a patient (a crisis it not a good time to shop for a mental health provider), but I've been struggling to stay upbeat lately and have also had trouble sleeping, so she prescribed some new meds. Not only does she have personality, but she actually listens to what I have to say about meds - which means I didn't get stuck taking 4 pills twice a day that would
a)make me a zombie
b)kill my libido
c)make me gain weight
d)give me withdrawls if I don't take them at exactly the right time
e)won't make me sick when I have a glass of wine with dinner
I mean sure, there's a chance that I could get a potentially fatal rash...but at least I'll be happy about it.


Oh come on, that was funny and you know it.


In all seriousness though, thus far I've been extremely pleased with all of my choices when it comes to doctors. I absolutely love my PCP, and both my dentist and eye doc are totally good looking. And lets face it, that's a bonus.

A new beginning

A new blog. Maybe I'll even update this one...it's too soon to tell. But since I visit blog spot so much to read Crystal and Becky's blogs, I figured I might as well try. Plus, I can't put pictures in my other blogs.


I guess I might as well start with the picture I've been promising. Here's HayZeus:

Isn't he adorable? I have some better pictures, but they are at home and I am at work (shocker, hey?). So that'll have to work for now. Mollidog isn't all that impressed by his presence, but they are getting used to each other slowly.

Speaking of the puppy, she's doing ok. The tumor on her elbow is bigger than a golf ball but smaller than a tennis ball. It's been an open wound for a few weeks now, and is threatening to develop an infection. The lymph nodes in her neck are palpable and she's got two small masses on her paw, but she's not in pain and is still full of her trademark energy. Mollidog won't stop being Mollidog, cancer or not! She does need a haircut though.


In other news, I took my sewing machine to the repair shop today and the sewing guy pronounced it DOA. I guess that's what happens when your mother KNOWINGLY gives you a BROKEN sewing machine to complete your christmas projects with...jeeeez Mom. Thank goodness I started so early. Turns out the sewing guy might have a used one he can sell me for a good price with a warranty, so I'm hoping that works out. Tick tock tick tock.


I also called Cellular One and told them about my broken phone today. My replacement should be here Thursday.


Other than those few things I'm essentially knee deep in Christmas prep, which is wierd because I usually pretend Christmas doesn't exsist until after Turkey Day. Or maybe it was after final exams. I can't remember. Either way I'm working on getting my gifts figured out and I'm excited to start baking.


Oh, I forgot to mention - Joe and I went ring "browsing" on Saturday. But that's no big deal, right? :)